Thursday, December 1, 2011

Where has the time gone?

We are soon approaching my baby girl's 4 month birthday.  I can't even believe that 4 months have passed by.  It also has been 1 month since her heart surgery.  I remember sitting at her bedside, thinking that there is no way I will make it through this, the hours seemed like days, the hours like weeks, never did I think that we would be here so quickly.  She is growing so much and that makes me so happy.  She smiles and laughs out loud, she is holding things.  She has some catching up to do but she will get there in her own time, when she is good and ready. Time; something I wished for so deeply, something I thought we would lose, something I thought we would never have enough of, has been wrapped up in a pretty pink bow and given to us in abundance, thanks to the brilliant doctors and nurses of Maria Ferari Hospital.  This whole experience has humbled me, has changed me, has exposed me to the kindness and the wonder that people in this world have to offer.  As a person who has been hurt a lot by people, mean people, I have put walls around myself.  Through all of this I have taken that wall down brick by brick as I have encountered the kindness and the friendliness of such amazing people that have come into my life.  I have found wonderful friendships I never knew I would have, or I never knew I could open myself up to.   I had spent my life being negative about everything, about people, situations, you name it.  Now I have had this awakening so to speak, I feel like because of what my tiny baby girl had to go through, I feel like I can accomplish anything.
When she gets older I want her to know she is my hero, she is the strongest, bravest, most wonderful little girl I know, and I hope someday to be as strong and brave as she is.