Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Happy First Birthday

One year later, I cannot even believe it.  I look back on it now and I think my heart and my mind knew it, they knew that we would all be okay, that I would be okay that I was going to be the best mommy that my little girl could have ever asked for. She knew it, from the moment they placed her in my arms, from the moment our eyes met she knew we'd be okay.  She knew it would be hard, that we would all go through a lot, but this was the very place that she wanted to be, that she needed to be.  She has become part of us, part of our little family, part of the only things and people we need in this world.
People will never understand, people will never get it, until they live it and I am so happy that you chose me and I am so happy that I get to live this life with you, my precious angel.  I have learned so much since the day they brought you to me in that hospital bed.  I have learned that it's all going to be okay, I have learned that we can get through anything we put our minds to, we can do it together as a family.  I have learned that I can be the best mother I can be with you and your brother by my side.  I have become so much more this year, I have become a better person, a better wife, a better friend, a better woman because of the wonder and the joy you have brought into my life.  You came into our lives at a moment in time, a moment in time that I felt pure pain and devistation, a moment in time I wish I could do over, if I only knew then what I know right now. If I only knew how much I was going to need you, if I only knew what joy you were going to bring to my life, if I only knew that everything was going to be okay, I wouldn't have cried so much, I wouldn't have put myself through all the what if's.
I do know this, once that moment was over, I knew you were mine, I knew that I was never going to let you go, I was going to hold you in my arms, I was going to be there for you and we would get through it all together.  You have taught me so much in this one short year, things I would not have otherwise learned had you not come into my life. Real lessons, about life, about love, about trust.  My sweet baby girl, you are turning 1 years old today, and there is so much to be thankful for.  I thank God everyday for giving you to me, for allowing me to be your mommy, and I will be there for you no matter what, today and everyday.  I love you my sweet smiley girl, Happy First Birthday.