Thursday, March 29, 2012

Don't Feel Sorry For Me

We got our first look today, it was probably the second or third time that I have taken her out since she has been "allowed". I had to go to the doctor so I took my little princess with me.  There in the waiting room with a "normal" baby, probably about 2 weeks old, and screaming her head off, the mother kept glaring at me and then at Leah, giving me the phony, I pity you smile.   She gave me the look, you know the look, the "Oh I am so sorry that you didn't have a normal baby like mine look," the "oh you poor poor thing look," the pity look.  I have been waiting for the first time this would happen, expecting it to hurt like hell, to make me burst into tears, but ya know what it didn't do any of that.  It really pissed me off actually.
I don't need your pity, I don't need you to feel sorry for me or my baby.  She is going to do things just like any other baby just in her own time.  She has been through more in her short little life, than any "normal" baby will experience in a lifetime.  She is brave, she is strong, she is determined, she will do whatever she puts her mind to, so no do not pity me, do not pity my family, do not pity my baby, she will surprise this world, she will prove everyone who tells her she can't wrong.  And to people who give those looks to mothers like me, keep your pity for someone who needs it, because I do not need it, there is nothing in my life to feel sorry about, my life is better because she is a part of it, I wish for everyone to experience that kind of love just once in their lives, and then you will understand, then you will never look at me like that again.