Thursday, February 28, 2013

Down Syndrome Is Not Perfect Life Is Not Perfect

I understand criticism believe me, I am my biggest critic,  I got a comment on my blog a few days ago, that I can't seem to let go of until I address it.  Someone basically told me "How dare I be so positive, don't I know what my daughter is going to become when she gets older, don't you know she isn't going to always be this cute baby, she is going to be a baby trapped in an adult's body someday." I can sit here and type away and pretend that everything is always easy and just peachy, I can sit here and tell you that everything is just fine and that I don't worry.  I can sit here and tell you I am the perfect mother and deserve mother of the year, and honestly it would all be a big fat lie.  I just live this life that was given to me, I certainly didn't ask for it but it is mine just the same. I know that my daughter is a cute baby and she lights up my life, I realize that she will not always be a cute baby she is going to grow up just like my son is growing up.  Will everything be easy?  No, I never claimed that will be the case. Every day is not going to be easy, every day isn't easy now. Therapy days are the hardest for me, it really sucks having therapists come into your home almost everyday and have to work with your child, it is difficult to have to watch her work so hard for things that just come naturally for other kids. It sucks big time quite honestly. But on the other hand we are lucky to have such wonderful therapists who truly love our daughter and who want what is truly best for her.
I have days when I throw myself a pity party, you know if you are a special needs mom you totally do it to, don't lie.  Why my kid?  Why can't we just have a normal life like everybody else?  And believe me we are totally normal, but it's the days when she can't just be a baby, when I can't just take her out to the grocery stores because I am afraid she will get sick.  How terrified I am to ever have another baby, and won't have another baby because I don't want a baby to have to go throw what my daughter has gone through.
There are days when I feel great and those days do out number the bad days.  Noone knows how I feel, noone will ever know how it feels unless they know what it's like, unless they too have had a baby who had open heart surgery, or a baby who has Down Syndrome.  It gets easier as the days go by, so in response to that comment, I do not "pretend" my life is perfectly wonderful.  My life is not perfect but it is wonderful, I am chosing to live my life with my children and giving them the best childhood that I can, I have bad days just like anyone else and if it gets harder then I will work harder and my daughter will work harder. This is the life I was given, so I am going to take it and make it the best life possible and give love and recieve love because isn't that really what it's all about, not this perfection that people seem to strive for, because noone is perfect Down Syndrome or not.