Monday, December 3, 2012


So I have begun this dialogue in my head upteen million times, you know how it goes.  I am going to change, I am going to be healthy, I am going to exercise 75 times a day and I am going to have the body I want once and for all, dang it.  Nothing is going to get in my way, nothing except for this thing called life.
Sleep, glorious sleep I seem to be lacking in that area lately, between my snoring husband and my teething daughter, hours of sweet precious sleep are few and far between, so the thought of waking up at 4 am to exercise is not exactly my idea of fun, but I do know that I have to do something, I have to make time to concentrate on my health. 
Somehow, as a mom I get so consumed with everyday life, so stuck in a rut.  I will usually give myself excuse after excuse of why I can't start now, it's the whole I'll get back on track on Monday routine, until I have tried and retried a whole 52 Monday's and if I had only started on Monday 1 where would I be today?
I know I am not alone, lots of people feel the same way. I tend to get overwhelmed with the thought of making time for myself, doing things for myself, it all sounds wonderful, looks great on paper, but when it comes to doing it the guilt sets in, I should be doing something for someone else plays over like a broken record in my head.  How do you get rid of that, it doesn't just go away, it can't, not for a mom, can it?    My daughter needs so much, attention, therapy, how do I take time away from her to concentrate on me, it seems so selfish.  The little time I get to spend with my son, because of school is usually spent doing homework, making dinner, and cleaning.  I do try to spend one day every week with just him, why can't I do that for myself.

I grew up with a mom who worked 7 days a week, who never did anything for herself. So I guess I learned from her that once you have kids you are no longer a priority, no longer important.  I have to work on this mindset because I do realize that it is not healthy, but it is going to be hard erasing these thought and feelings.  What do you think? Do you feel the way I do?  Do you feel the opposite? Let me know!!!!!