Wednesday, May 28, 2014

I Am A Special Needs Mom who Doesn't Feel Like Super Mom Project 365 Days 142-152

I don't know how you do it?  I hear it all the time.  What do these words mean?  How do I do what?  Mother?  Parent? Survive? People seem to think I have it all put together, I know exactly what I am doing, I am some sort of martyr or saint.  I am just a mom who happens to have a special needs child who is doing my best to do what is right for both of my children.  If you were to peek into the window of my life on a daily basis you would see that I often feel a lot that most people would never even know.

I often feel isolated,  I don't have many friends who are moms of typical kids and I also don't have many friends in the Down syndrome community.  I never have an easy time making friends so this is especially hard for me.  I want and need friends in my life.

When people ask me if i will get a job or go back to teaching, it makes me feel like an enormous failure.  I already feel like I am not doing enough. I often times feel like I am failing my child and when you say things like that to me it makes me think oh I really am failing, I am not doing enough.

I often feel like I am failing my typical child as well.  Am I doing enough for him? Is he getting enough of my attention?  Is he getting what he needs from me?

As a special needs parent you often feel challenged and exhausted each and everyday by the rude comments, the stares, the opinions that are not asked for.  As moms we just want to live our lives, love our kids, do the best for them and not have to worry about being judged day in and day out. We have so many struggles that you couldn't even dream of knowing about, yet you seem to have all the answers.

So if you know a special needs mom, just be a friend to them, try to imagine for a minute what they go through everyday and what it must be like to walk a mile in their shoes.  Be kind, make the extra effort. Know that it is probably very hard for them to call you or text you or visit you.  If you put in the extra effort, you wouldn't believe what an amazing friendship you could be a part of.  Just be there.  I know it is hard. I know it is hard to always be the one who calls, who texts, who visits, who makes plans. But they need you and if you are a true friend you will be there to help.  You will be there to understand, to get them out of the house for a few hours, to just be a friend.